Book review: The Rules. The Way of the Cycling Disciple by Velominati

"Rule # 9 If you're out riding in bad weather it means you are a badass. Period."

This is a book of rules, 95 rules, that true cyclists must follow. It is aimed at the road cyclist, people who take cycling very seriously and ride to win. That's not me, so I found that a lot of the rules in the book are ones that I have already broken or were things I never considered, such as "Rule # 56 Espresso or macchiato only." The authors state that if you have a pre or post-ride coffee it must only be espresso or macchiato and "In Europe, the waiter is allowed to slap your face when you order a soy latte. If he is a good waiter, and you are a Cyclist, he will really step into that slap."

There is much about this book that sounds ridiculous, particularly to non-cyclists and I am sure that the authors were having a bit of a laugh rather than taking everything seriously. It had me laughing at the thought of people who actually abide by these rules. However, there is no doubt that many people take cycling this seriously. For them they aspire to emulate the legends of professional cycling and this means doing things in a certain way.

This extends to what you wear and how you look when riding your bike. For example, shorts must be black and the arms of your sunglasses must be placed over the helmet straps. You are also not permitted to have a full beard or moustache. 

I don't intend to follow these rules because I am not that type of cyclist, but I enjoyed the book because it was funny and I could have a laugh at the cyclists who do take it this seriously. I often see road cyclists, usually overtaking me and sometimes I have experienced a look of derision from them as they look me up and down. After reading this book I now know why- they have probably observed that I am breaking many of these rules. I really don't care. I ride my bike because I like to explore my country and choose this as my favourite form of transport. That's the only rules I obey.

Okay, there were some things in here that I found myself agreeing with, for example rule 9 that I quoted at the top of this review. I like the thought that I am regarded as a "badass" in bad weather, even if it is one of many Americanisms that feature in the book. Scotland has plenty of bad weather and I have cycled through a lot of it, so I will take the complement. I also agree with "Rule #62 You shall not ride with earphones." The authors beautifully capture the reason why- "Cycling is about getting outside and into the elements and you don't need to be listening to Queen or Slayer in order to experience that... one may only hear the sound of the wind whistling by one's helmet straps and a few bird tweets. Who should deny themselves that lack of noise of civilisation? Why would you?"

If you want a bit of a laugh and an insight into the world of cyclists who take it too seriously then this book is worth a read.